Happy Birthday to Me, E.T.

Oh dear, how do I tell my 91-year-old mother that she gave birth to an extraterrestrial being? What else could explain my extraordinary quirks, peculiar ailments, and uncanny ability to survive against all odds?

I’ve recovered from accidents that no mortal should have survived. I suffer from maladies so bizarre that no one has ever heard of them before.

Then again, how many people survived a rabid skunk bite as a toddler and lived to tell the tale?

My latest episode involved the right side of my mouth festering until my gum line resembled the embers of a dying fire. A thread under my lip pulled my gum away from my tooth, exposing the root.

My Swiss dentist pried open my mouth and exclaimed in awe, “Très intéressant! I’ll do a frenectomy!”

Frenectomy?

In the past, when diagnosed with other strange ailments, I had no idea what my American, French, German, Greek and Swiss doctors were talking about.

I’ve always been different.

After all, I was born in Sandwich.

“Which kind? Baloney!” friends teased.

According to my mother, I was the only planned baby of her four children.

Good grief! Who in their right mind would have planned to birth an extraterrestrial being?

Fortunately, back in Sandwich in 1957, I was a bargain baby! The doctor who delivered me charged my folks only 50 bucks.

Since then, I’ve cost a fortune!

Braces, glasses, orthodontia, orthotics, and umpteen surgeries. Disintegrating discs, temporal mandible dysfunction, neuroborreliosis. I had strange conditions before they became common knowledge. My treatments, considered controversial quackery at the time, have become part of standard care, like chiropractic and TMJ dental treatment.

Why me?

Blame it on that rabid skunk bite!

My poor mother! How did she survive my childhood?

My poor Frenchman! How does he endure my adulthood?

After each calamity, he picked up the pieces, paid medical bills and waited for me to heal. With his help, I am still ticking, albeit slowly.

Today, doctors suspect I was born with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS). EDS? Huh? It’s part of a group of genetic connective tissue disorders, which could help explain
my proprioception issues and propensity for falls.

We’re all unique beings, trying to move forward, stay strong, and beat the odds.

No one chooses their family, the genes they inherit, the beliefs they assimilate, or where they grow up. No one can predict what physical, emotional, and mental challenges they’ll face.

Wouldn’t it be easier if we didn’t see ourselves only as Democrats or Republicans, Americans, Europeans, Asians, Africans, Indians, Australians, Muslims, Jews, or Christians?

Could we live better harmony if we didn’t identify so much with one religion, nationality, race, or ethnicity, but more as tiny specks in the universe?

What if we all came from somewhere beyond Earth?

How’s this for conspiracy theory?

What if we’re all aliens?

Who knows?

I am here still questioning, still yearning, still learning.

Time is running out. I may never get it right. For now, I exist in a state of grace, warts and all, grateful to be here even during these troubled times.

Thank you, my beloved mother, for bringing me into existence and guiding my path!

Merci mille fois mon courageux français for staying by my side.

Happy Birthday to me, E.T.

Celebrating the class of ’75 SHS Forever

This weekend at my alma mater, Sterling High School Class of 1975 celebrates its’ 50th reunion. Sadly, the Big Pond and 4000 miles that separate us makes it impossible for me to drop in, but pieces of my heart never left home.

Born by the Rock River in Illinois, I grew strong in my family (McKinzie) in my hood (19th street) and within the halls of Sterling High School.

The baby boomer names— Bob, Doug, Mike, Chris, Deb, Sue, Pat— of my classmates, no longer common, have gone out of style.

Over the past half century, names aren’t the only thing that has changed.

Back then, cell phones hadn’t been invented. Instead we dialed friends’ numbers on land lines and tied up the family phone for hours as we spread gossip and sorted out teen dramas.

Text messages, huh? We communicated by flicking hand written notes across the class room on paper folded into tiny footballs.

In spring of ’75, Bill Gates and Paul Allen founded Microsoft computer software, but my peers and I practiced the hunt and peck method on type writers. Anybody remember those antique machines?

Boys jostled in the halls and teased the girls, but dangerous bullies back then did not exist. Today’s 21st century bullies lurk on social media spewing hatred and vitriol. Predators hide online; deviants use AI to create fake photos and identities and blackmail innocent victims. Cyber bullying destroys teenagers’ lives.

In the 70’s, our streets were safer; outside threats smaller. We lined up on the playgrounds during fire drills and hid under our desks in tornado warnings. But no one could ever imagine a school shooting.

No one died at school.

Nobody owned guns except deer hunters.

Back then, we walked through the open school gates freely. Now security guards check backpacks at the door and roam the halls sweeping lockers for guns. Active shooting drills have become the norm.

As high schoolers in the ‘70s, we did stupid stuff. We hung out in cars, but nobody owned their own wheels. We cruised in our parents’ vehicles, spinning grease laps around McD’s, running Chinese fire drills at stop lights, pitching toilet paper out windows to TP trees.

My class was notorious for the “Moon Mobile!” Bare butts hanging in the wind became a common sighting!

Our shenanigans were annoying, but innocent.

Our greatest transgression — streaking (running buck naked) across the football field under the Friday night lights. We had slumber parties and seances and summer jobs.

“What’s happenin?” 70s gave way to the shake your bootie disco days of the 80’s. We grew up to the background beat of Motown and Springsteen’s “Born to Run,” during the Vietnam War Era, moon landings and Watergate.

At the time, we never appreciated the opportunities Sterling provided, giving us the chance to pursue our interests and hone skills in outstanding facilities. Drama club, robed choir, marching band, dance, pom poms, cheerleaders, chess, debate and sports a go go.

Not for girls.

Not right away. But when Title IX started rolling, we were one of the first schools in Illinois to provide girls’ competitive sport programs.

Back then, I probably had a chip on my shoulder because I wanted to play ALL sports like my male peers. But I was lucky to come of age at the tip of Title IX and be there at the beginning—first girls’ teams, first female Roscoe Eades recipient, first women’s athletic college scholarship recipient, first women’s pro basketball league (WBL) draftee.

I will always have a special affinity for the class of 75, but after graduation, age differences blur. Once we tossed that blue cap to wind, we all became proud alumni. In retrospect, boomers raised in big families had so many siblings at SHS at the same time, class distinctions never mattered.

I recall my older brother’s talented class of 73, with his brainy bunch of friends headed to the Ivies, and equally exceptional athletes off to the Big Ten. I’ll always remember the Sweet Sixteen boy’s basketball team that let me play in pick-up games, long before girl’s hooping was a thing. And who could ever forget my lil sister’s winning Illinois’ 1st girls’ state basketball championship in 1977.

Did we appreciate our fortune surmounting those challenging rights of passage on our campus, as impressive as any university? For a blink in history, we shared a common bond. We grew up in the same place, at the same a time, when graduation to adulthood was simpler, safer, saner.

We were basically good kids.

If we ever failed to toe the line at SHS, we had great character-building role models, teachers, coaches and administrators who held us accountable and made us own our mistakes.

We learned lifelong lessons of dependability, honesty and integrity through team participation and performances in the arts and sports.

Sadly, since those carefree times, we have lost family members and loved ones, including friends from our graduating class, like Mouse, Bob, Jay, Laurie and others.

Many classmates attending our 50th reunion will have replaced worn out body parts, survived heart attacks, endured cancer, COVID and other chronic diseases.

My old friends will gather to celebrate, to watch a football game, tour the SHS campus and reminisce about the good ol’days!

Somewhere across the globe, a tall, slender gal will raise a glass in their honor.

Thanks for those magical 70’s memories.

Our Sterling years remain etched in gold forever.

Thanksgiving-2024 Our Feast with a UK Twist

Four and a half decades ago, I moved abroad without speaking another language or understanding other cultures, I stumbled into European homes and hearts. No matter how bleak the times, I appreciated being welcomed abroad and showed my gratitude by sharing the ultra North American tradition, Thanksgiving,

As an American born granddaughter of Scotch/Irish/Norwegian ancestry, I have been an immigrant my entire adult life. Growing up in the US, my McKinzie/Olson family Thanksgiving tradition included grandparents, friends and foreigners. The dinner menu varied from year to year, but the message remained the same.

For my first Thanksgiving in France, my teammates insisted on slowing down to savor each dish in separate courses. We were a table the entire day! During my “traditional” T-Day celebration in Germany, we never sat down. The event turned into a free-for-all when the women and men in my basketball club squeezed into my kitchen leaving standing room only. In Switzerland, we dined with a hodgepodge of multi-national neighbors and friends creating a beautiful kaleidoscope of humanity

This year, in a unique twist, we are celebrating the holiday with our son and daughter-in-law in Warwickshire England.

A tray full of home baked yorkshire puddings

Our daughter-in-law’s sister will make Yorkshire pudding, but it’s not a dessert. This savory, English dish, from northern England’s Yorkshire area, is similar in texture to a pop over. It rises, puffs and crisps as it cooks, but remains soft and airy inside.

“Made from an egg and flour base mixed with, milk or water,” her sister explained, “It’s like a baked pudding.”

In 1737, a “dripping pudding” (using the fat that dropped into the dripping pan to cook) recipe was first noted in the book, The Whole Duty of a Woman. The art is in contriving the perfect lightness.

Since 2007, Yorkshire Pudding Day is celebrated the first Sunday in February in the UK and believe it or not, it is often recognized again on October 13th in the US and elsewhere.

The bowl in the middle of the dough puff makes an ideal gravy boat. Originally,Yorkshire pudding, made with low-cost ingredients and a thick gravy, was served as a first course to dull diners’ appetites, so guests wouldn’t eat too much of the expensive meat in the next course.

Imagine the sacrilege if Americans tried cutting costs on T-Day with that trick!

Our daughter-in-law will prepare Irish roast potatoes, another classic dish, adopted from the Irish side of her family.

“We always use Yukon Gold spuds. They are peeled and par boiled, then roughed up a bit, and basted in hot oil in a big roasting pan,” she explained. “ Then, we pop them in the oven to bake for 45 minutes to an hour.”

Ironically, this year, the main dish of our T-day won’t be the blessed bird, but instead a wee piggy. Our son is making his brother-in-law’s recipe for ham, which is baked in coca cola, adding an American touch.

To further “butcher” the American tradition, my French hubby will insist on serving a cheese course, a lovely Brie accompanied by a white or orange cheddar to appease the English palate.

Our son’s mother-in-law will bring an apple crumble, a classic, comforting British dessert, which combines tender, caramelized apples with a buttery, crumbly topping.

Always an outlander here and forever an alien in the kitchen, I welcome any Thanksgiving help. I love sharing favorites from around the globe, especially on this day of giving.

Wherever you are gathered, no matter what you serve or how you celebrate, take time to sit still, hug the person next to you and give thanks for your blessings —family, friendship and fellowship.

No matter what deity we worship or ideology we adhere to, which language we speak, foods we eat, or customs we celebrate, we should keep this in mind.

We are all members of the same human race and guests here on planet earth.

Happy 90th Birthday to my Extraordinary Mom

From kindergarten teacher, to camp leader, to club member, to quilt-maker, to card sender, to grandma extraordinaire… everybody loves Lenore!

You, mom, who brought us into the world and then taught us to embrace each day as a gift, also showed us how to nurture, to console, to compromise, to accept, to fight, to forgive, to teach, to learn, to praise, to thank, to welcome, to love.

Unconditionally.

Thank you for the gift of life. Only in my later years, have I appreciated what a selfless act that truly is. When I was a young mother, you wisely told me: “From the moment your baby is born, you offer her as a gift to the world.”

I have been so blessed to have been born to you - a generous, intelligent, forward-thinking mom, who nurtured me through so many tough transitions with my identity intact during the tumultuous 60s and 70s. Because of you I became strong, courageous and resilient.

I could have never navigated my path as a trailblazer without you encouraging me to rise up after each setback, to persist through every trial, and fight back from injuries in my rough and tumble life as a female athlete.

Because you loved and accepted me, I learned accept myself, long before society did.

Had you been born in a different era, when women had equal educational and athletic opportunities, you would have been an athlete, a doctor, an engineer or a scientist, like your two brothers. Instead you broke glass ceiling in the 1950s earning a college degree, becoming a teacher and raising four children five years apart.

If I became a Title IX pioneer, it was because from day one, my strong, loving, selfless mom believed in me and led by example. You walked so I could run.

You taught me to live with gratitude and to “hang by my faith hook”. How much kinder and more hopeful am I because you taught me to believe in the goodness in mankind?

I feel grateful for every sunrise, every phone call, every Summit Lake summer, I can share with you.

You, my beautiful, blue-eyed Norwegian-American Mom, have only to look into your children’s, grandchildren’s and great grandchildren’s eyes to see the reflection of your love. A love that keeps on giving.

England’s Intricate Canal System Had Me Trippin’

From the window of our son and daughter-in-law’s home in Warwickshire, England, I was admiring the red, brick barns and lush, green fields when suddenly a head floated past, just above their back hedge.

“I saw a ghost!” I screamed.

“No, that’s a real person,” Nic said. “C’mon, I’ll show you.”

Then he led us down a trail down the road from their home and we arrive at the Oxford Canal. I felt like I entered another time period. Narrow houseboats puttered along until jammed in traffic by ancient brick bridges with old fashioned locks every hundred yards.

On busy days pleasure boats floated up and down the canal. People congregated on the bridge shooting the breeze while waiting for next boat to go through the locks.

The rustic lock system, which allowed only a single boat passage, has changed little from the past century. In the past, a boy riding a bicycle prepared or set locks ahead of a boat's arrival. Nowadays, the woman aboard, carrying the lock key, hopped off onto shore to open the gate letting the water rise or fall, while the mister stood at the stern manning the rudder bar.

The Oxford Canal, inaugurated in 1769, is one of England’s oldest. In earlier days, coal and limestone were transported cross-country along canals that followed the contours of the land. In yesteryear, horses pulled supply boats by trotting alongside the canal on the shoreline’s narrow dirt paths.

Four thousand, seven hundred miles of navigable canals and rivers cross the United Kingdom; two thousand seven hundred miles of these are part of the connected system. During the Industrial Revolution, the canals system provided a commercial transport network until the the railways prevailed.

Narrowboats are usually built 6 feet 10 inches wide and a maximum length of 72 feet, because they must be under 7 feet wide and 75 feet long in order to fit into the lock.

Most of the old vessels, converted into houseboats, are now rented out for family holidays, but 8580 narrowboats are registered as 'permanent homes' on Britain's waterway system. Fifteen thousand Britons live their lives entirely on the water, and separate themselves from much of what defines the economy and life of the average British citizen. The boat people represent a growing alternative community living on semi-permanent moorings or continuously cruising.

Only a sunny day, a carnival atmosphere prevails. I felt wistful watching the colorful boats parade past on the lazy canal. Whimsically, I imagined ditching real life and drifting down the canal without a care in the world.

My First UK Walk in Wellies

I was excited as a two-year-old to take my first walk in wellies across the beautiful British countryside (I am easily amused.) Wellies, the symbol of British culture, reflect the lasting legacy of the Duke of Wellington and the term carries a sense of tradition, practicality, and British identity.

Wellies, aka. Wellington boots, date back to the 18th century. Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington, enlisted his shoemaker to modify a military Hessian boot. Originally designed for battle, wellies were later used by farmers and outdoorsmen.

In the early 19th century, they became a staple of practical foot wear for the British aristocracy and middle class and a popular choice for various occasions, including evenings out.

“Everyone in England has a pair of wellies, “Larissa explained. “In the UK, the public has the right away to cross the fields. It’s known as Public Bridle Way.”

When our son, Nic, bought me a pair, I thought they looked so chic that I could wear them as dress boots, which many people do these days. Wellies evolved from being purely functional to becoming fashionable accessories with many brands offering trendy designs, colors and styles.

“Don’t you have wellies in the US?” my British daughter- in-law asked surprised at my exuberance.

“In the Midwest, we swap out tennis shoes directly for winter boots,” I said, “Only thing close to your wellies was the clunky, buckle up galoshes we wrestled on over shoes in grade school.”

The British waterproof gumboots are usually made from rubber or PVC. Traditionally Wellies come in black, olive green, tan color or print and hit just below knee level.

Walking in wellies looks simple, but it takes dexterity. Larissa’s family maneuvered the rough terrain far better than me or Gerald. Could advancing in gumboots be skill passed down from one generation to the next?

Fortunately, before we left home, Larissa advised, “Wear heavy socks to prevent blisters.”

“Slip your orthopedics inserts in the boots,” Nic, the chiropractor added. “It may help your back.”

Nothing helped my spine; I winced every step forward. The UK family, even Lari’s sister lugging her ten-month-old child in a baby carrier, glided across the uneven terrain gracefully. I lumbered along behind, as if on two left feet, stumbling every step of the way.

Wellies, designed to protect feet from getting muddy or wet in damp environments, are the quintessential symbol of British footwear. To the non native, they feel awkward and offer little support for someone with like me with crooked toes, poor balance and a bad back.

Today's wellies, with varied color options and patterns, permit people to add personal style to functional footwear. They can be paired to match every outfit and occasion.

But no one wears wellies with greater style and aplomb than five-year-olds. Larissa and Nic’s nephew mastered the skill. In his “dinosaur” wellies, with a jagged flap along the spine of boot, he galloped ahead, circled back and jumped in every puddle along the way.

For me, slipping on a pair of “wellies,” sloshing along the sublime English countryside and singing with our UK side of the family made me feel like a kid again.