Confession of Social Media Phobia to Facebook Friends

I confess I am a fraud. My fancy, dancy website…didn’t touch it. Don’t understand a thing about the technological aspect of social media. Nada! As my live-in techie, aka Frenchman, develops more skill at troubleshooting problems, the less adept I become.

soul sisters

soul sisters

I am able to log onto facebook only because my Frenchman set an automatic entry; I can’t remember any passwords. [div]When my home page pops up and I see the little bubble space under update status with the the question, « How are you feeling, Pat ? » I honestly thought the whole world was worried about my health status.

I would write back, « Not so good today- sore throat, backache, migraine, thanks for asking,» until my daughter, complained, « Mom stop facebooking about how you feel, no one cares. I don’t care and I am a doctor! That question pops up automatically everytime.»

Ditto for the grey comment box with my mug shot – I thought it meant that I was supposed to comment on every posting on the running page.

Actually facebook terrifies me because I understand so little about it. I am not sure how it works, where it goes and who sees it. As a writer I am used to exposing my ideas, but people know stuff about me that I’d rather forget. Like my birthday.

But friends, that is not why I have never answered your request to add birthday to your calendar. The real reason I haven’t responded is  because I don’t know how.

college pals

college pals

Sorry, if I haven’t accepted your offers to play games. That doesn’t mean that I don’t like you, it just means I don’t like games (unless they include a ball.) If I am honest, I’ll admit I don’t know how to play online games. So I won’t be joining the other 41 million enjoying FarmVille, Lucky Slots or Zynga Slingo.

FB’s popularity is a bit superficial like the old autograph hounds we carried in 6th grade where you run around begging everyone to sign your stuffed dog or little book of blank pages. For what? Or the high school yearbook signing – I’ll sign yours if you sign mine.

However, if someone is kind enough to invite me to LIKE their page, I will. Does anyone ever hit the dislike button? C’mon would your tell the hostess, that you don’t like her social gathering?

And if you friend me, unless you are a stalker, pedophile or tax collector, I will friend you back. Friends are golden. FB allowed me to reconnect to high school, college and pro teammates, and friends from childhood through motherhood into middle age.

I dreamed that one day I’d throw a giant celebration reuniting all the people who touched my life from kindergarten onwards, in the places I lived from Sterling to Summit Lake to Illinois State to Washington DC to Europe.

cousins stay connected on FB

cousins stay connected on FB

FaceBook is THAT party.

And it is definitely addicting, like chocolate without the calories.

Another plus, now it’s a thrill to go outdoors once in awhile and see real people like back in the good old days before social media.

Enhanced by Zemanta
Posted in family, humor, inspiration, relationships, social view.


  1. Facebook is probably the only social media platform that I find intuitive…all the rest continue to baffle me! I love it! Just like you I’ve re-connected with old high school friends and am able to stay connected to relatives both near and far.

    …and “chocolate without the calories” — love that too!

  2. Goodness, how I can relate to the FB woes you mention Pat! Someone requested to add my Birthday recently and try as I might, couldn’t find out how to do it! Those darn games are piling up. I’m wondering if’pokes’are a bad thing? anyhow, ex-pat glad to know I’m not alone out here. just sayin’ 🙂

  3. Oh my gosh! You just wrote MY story – my challenges with social media. It’s even worse since they changed the look of FB. What happened to my wall? Is that what my timeline is now? I don’t respond to folks because I don’t know how to. If I reply to someone, does that mean the whole world will read what I wrote. I politely try to ask people who send me an important msg on FB to please email me instead as I don’t even know how to check my notifications on FB!!!
    Thanks for making me feel human and not totally stupid. Just one more question? How do you all find the TIME to spend on FB? I can barely answer emails much less ‘like’ your post!
    As wonderful as technology is, sometimes I secretly hope it will all implode one day and we can go back to the good old fashioned way of writing by hand!

    • Oh Tina, LOL at your last night…image technology imploding…that’s why escape to the lake every summer to get back to nature. Wish you still lived just across the border, then we could muddle through this together.

  4. LOL!…me, too!! I really don’t get why people play the games and why they want me to…and I sure don’t know how to respond to the b-day request! But I do enjoy keeping up with the nieces and nephews!

  5. Pat, this is hilarious! I work in a “techy” field, so I can certainly find my way around computers, but Facebook isn’t where I choose to spend time. My son, the college kid, says it would just be a waste of my time and energies — and who really wants to be in contact with everybody from the past?? Still, I love Blogging and I’m dabbling in a few other social networks. Better to pick and choose which ones you want to get involved in, though, as they can be real time-wasters if you let them! Not to mention keeping up with all those passwords, haha!

    • Debbie, sure wish I had your techy skills. I waste more time searching, trying to figure where I put files, blog posts, student reports… all my desktops are a disgrace, especially the virtual ones.

  6. I love your blogs! This one was so timely because I finally posted something on my FB page and my daughter was amazed! I always feel some trepidation about posting anything on Facebook, and I don’t understand all the in’s and out’s of the whole thing.

    • Good for you, Sue! You will soon be hooked and it’s a great way to stay connected. So glad you enjoy the blog. I can just picture you hunkered down under a duvet with a cup of coffee enjoying the spectacular view of the snow covered lake!

  7. sis,
    Looks like you touched on a “hot item”! Lots of responses!
    Let the party continue thru FB,especially to keep in touch with the “younger generation”. Keep on writing…………..

  8. Oh, Patty, you are too funny. I found myself nodding yes and laughing throughout the entire post. I can’t keep up with all the facebook changes. I use it but I’m sure I could be doing a lot more- if I really want to. I will admit, it is nice keeping track of my family, reconnecting with old friends and staying in touch with all my wonderful cyber-friends. When I see your post pop up every Saturday morning, I think, Oh goodie, Pat’s here. Better put on the coffee. You brighten my day 🙂

I would love to hear from you

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.