I’m Baacckkkk!

https://www.dreamstime.com/-image1188925Back from the brink. Again. I felt like I had one foot in the grave and the other in quicksand. Though I sure don’t feel like dancin’ yet, I can hear the music again and it sounds oh so sweet. I am recovering from what could easily have developed into a life threatening illness. Ever the athlete, I gallantly battled forward sucking up the pain until I was very ill. I’ll spare the details cause diarrhea is not the sort of thing one wants to know details about. Suffice it to say, it’s scary when no matter what you eat goes through you as fast as it hits your digestive track.

Food is life; the human body is a miracle machine.

I never stopped to think how a chomp of that apple could turn into a cell-fueling vitamin. From teeth to tongue, down the gullet to the stomach through the intestines, with the liver, gall bladder, and pancreas adding to the mix. What bio chemical processes allow enzymes to disassemble macromolecules, to take whole foods, and turn them into nutrients, to allow the body to function, grow, and repair itself? Ingestion. Secretion. Mixing. Movement. Digestion. Absorption. Excretion. Wow! The digestive system is an amazing assembly line with so many bit and bobs that can break down anytime.

I lost 15 pounds in a week while kind offers poured in from around the globe of people willing to part with spare kilos. Alas, no one would agree to allow me to choose of which body part I took the weight from.

For days, I dragged from couch to bed doubled over. Clostridium difficile colitis rates right up there at the top of the pain pyramid alongside acute sciatic and late stage labor.

I couldn’t write a blog. Heck, I couldn’t even string words together and speak a coherent sentence.canstock8394947

In the middle of the night when my intestines turned inside out and twisted into a fiery knot, I succumbed to fear. With the devil looking in me in the eye and laughing, I whispered prayers. Oh yea of little faith.

Without H2O and antibiotics, no wonder entire Third World villages are wiped out by this bad bug. With my head bowed to the porcelain throne, I praised the Lord for running water, toilet paper, and modern plumbing.

When I realized I survived another night, I offered thanks to those who stick by me during the toughest times.

To a BFF who hears my tears long distance and shushes me saying, “Nooo, don’t cry…it will make it hurt worse. Let me tell you a funny story.”

To a daughter who reminds me the latest studies show it’s okay to eat whatever sounds good when the thought of another banana made me nauseous.

To family members who drop everything to reach out with phone calls from across 6 different time zones.

To mon bonhomme who nursed me to back to health. Again. Oh, if only I could be cured by his sublime cuisine.

Never, never under estimate the power of the healing touch even through cyberspace.

Now I am impatient; I learned my lesson. I want to get in the driver’s seat and cruise back into the relentless pace of the living. But my legs still buckle under me, my head still spins and I have yet to gain a gram. Enough already. I get it.

Why me? Why not me?

Suffering does not discriminate.

I am discouraged, but my outlook will improve when I start gaining back strength physically. I’ve been down and out before especially in February. And this ain’t nothin compared to that car accident thirtysome years ago.

Ah, February, my month of reflection. I am reminded again: life is a gift. We are blessed with another day. Fill it with kindness. Surviving is tough enough. Think of the magic your body performs every bite “of life” you take.lake in winter


Posted in family, food, health, inspiration.


  1. I had C.Dif. but without the colitis. Holy mother of God. If you know what caused it, fine. If you don’t, may I suggest probiotics before taking any antibiotics in the future?

    • Lynne, the worst part was I was taking probiotics, anti fungals before and during heavy antibiotic treatment for another illness when c.diff reared its ugly head. Now not sure what direction to go in treatment, but just so glad to be feeling human again.

    • Thanks for the great book suggestion, Belinda. Yes, I think you are right if our bods–especially that digestive system — are not balanced, we are in big trouble.

  2. You may think you aren’t on top of your game but you wrote a great post. Now the rest of your body needs to mend and catch up to your brain.

    • Helene, I truly felt like I was in the ringer of a washing machine on spin cycle. But as always when you endure a rough experience and come out on the other side, I sure feel grateful for another day.

  3. Pat I am so glad you are on the mend Idon’t know how you could lose 15 lbs. now that I am retired I hope to catch up with you when you come back to the states luv ya .

    • Thanks Bruce. So glad you and can kick back and enjoy that new gran baby…has she/he arrived safely yet.
      Love back at it and sure hope to reconnect when I am on your side of the Big Pond.

  4. Sis, once again your inspiring light shines through and your resilient spirit continues to amaze me. So, so relieved that you are feeling better and on the upswing. Sending prayers for continued healing and love to lift to you up.

  5. So glad You made it through. It is amazing the amount of strength we can have when we think we have none left. Praise God. Hang in there friend

  6. Oh poor you! 🙁 I always say that my body is talking to me when I get hit by illness… Try the probiotics, they always seem to help me… Hugs and healing to you dear friend, Rach xxx

    • Thanks, Rach. I live on probiotics & a no sugar, no gluten, no fun diet. I was being treated with antibiotics for another bacterial infection, when the C.diff took over. Aaiiihhhh But I am trying to do 10 min. of yoga a day to get my strength back & it always reminds me of you.

  7. OMGoodness I am so glad you are on your way back. I agree try the probiotics, the real ones. I had an intestinal resection done 10-years-ago so I am prone to plumbing issues. they really help.

    • Love it “plumbing issues.” Yes I have been on top of the line probiotics for years so not sure where things went so wrong, but back on track now. Thanks for stopping by.

  8. I was wondering where you’d gone, Pat. So sorry to hear you had C.diff, but I’m glad you’re on the mend. It takes time — trust me, I know because I had it, too, after a double round of antibiotics for a sinus infection. Oh, my, was I miserable!! Take each day as it comes and trust God is working miracles to heal you. I had mine in the spring months, when I so desperately wanted to get outside and play tennis with Domer. Perhaps it’s better to have it during yucky February (at least it’s the shortest month, right?!) Feel better soon, my friend.

      • It’s been about 10 years since I came down with it, Pat, so I’ve blocked much of the misery out. Still, I remember it took lots longer than I wanted to feel healthy again. And mine was compounded by the fact that I’d never even heard of this illness, nor anyone who’d ever had it. Best wishes you’re on the mend really soon!

  9. My dear Patty, Will our health ever be simple? I’m so glad you are on the mend. Take it slow and be good to yourself. Love you lots!

    • Too bad we didn’t live closer, like down the hall at Haynie ha ha so that we could commiserate together about all our crazy ailments. Sending love and hugs right back at you dear ol roomie.

  10. Pat,
    I’m so sorry another February has gotten you down. Please know I think of you often and pray that
    you are on your feet again soon! Here is hoping Spring is around the corner and you are lifted up
    by the birds chirping and the flowers blooming. Miss and love you. Mary:)

  11. I pray for a return to health! Your strength is admirable…even when you’re at your weakest! 🙂

  12. Patty Patty Patty sure wish we could have another fire out on the lake doing some roasting-that would make you feel all warm and fuzzy-at least until the fire goes out. Keep fighting and seeing the light.

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