Hope in Hopeless Times

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

My paternal grandmother taught me The Serenity Prayer when I was a child. I turn to this verse in the troubled times of today. Replace the word God with the name of whatever deity you worship or ideology you believe in. An estimated 4,200 religions exist in the world and most adhere to the same tenets.

Each culture is rich in its own way, with its own language, religion, literature, art, music, poetry, traditions and philosophy.

My heart breaks a little more each day knowing that my birth land, a country built on the backbone of indigenous tribes, immigrants and African slaves is now being split apart by violent rhetoric, divisive ideology, religion intolerance, systemic racism, sexism, classism and ethnocentrism.

In the USA, civil rights are being threatened daily by policies eliminating immigration and human rights. Nationalism is sweeping across borders with extreme right wing leaders rising to power in Austria and Italy and threatening to succeed in Germany and France.

Have we forgotten our past?

I never thought I would witness war on European soil during my lifetime. Yet three years after Russia invaded Ukraine, Ukrainian’s battle for freedom and defense of democratic principles rages on. A potential US-Russian peace agreement for Ukraine, without including Ukraine in the discussion, echoes of the disastrous appeasement plan of the Nazi Era that led to WWII.

Europe is not a far away place somewhere. Europe is your neighbor. Europe is my home. In the past, my grandfather fought in WWI; my French in-laws and Norwegian relatives survived the Nazi Occupation. My American peers and I grew up fighting against discrimination and inequality.

My family, through birth and marriage, is American, British, Chinese, French, Irish, Norwegian, Scottish, Swedish, and Ukrainian.

My people are all people.

Set our differences aside. Take off our rose-colored glasses and pie-in-the-sky illusion that conditions are improving. We must face the stark reality of what is happening, not only in the USA, but around the globe. Natural disaster, civil unrest, a wave of extreme right wing ideology and nationalism is spreading.

A half century ago, as an idealistic university student, I started studying social work. When I realized that I could not save the world, I trained as an educator. Serendipitously, while teaching at an International School in Switzerland, I had the privilege to work with students and families from around the globe.

From my experience, I learned that we are more alike than different.

We all want the same things for those we love — a roof overhead, food on the table, a right to a good education and an equal chance to work and prosper.

Yet as individuals, we remain impotent, helpless and hopeless. How can one human being, especially one with a broken body, ever change the world?

I can’t. But I can reach out to those in my entourage.

We must begin within our immediate circles — families and friendship groups, neighborhoods and schools, churches and communities.

As my former coach said, “We have to continue to do the right things, for the right reasons, for all of us.”

It’s so hard to believe integrity matters when countries’ leaders seem to be so hell bent on spinning lies, disbanding public education, health care, social services, and the human rights we fought so long to assure.

How can my country go from being the world’s leading democracy to one of the planet’s biggest bullies?

Political ideologies aside, if any civilization anywhere on earth is to survive, we must find ways to work together on global issues. Poverty, climate change, cyber security, natural resources, future pandemics, nuclear threats and pollution affect all mankind.

An estimated 8.2 billion people representing 4,000 different cultures, speaking 7,000 languages share this planet. We all have to do more at every level in each country to communicate in a common language — the language of humanity.

How International Women’s Day, Title IX and Sterling Basketball Tie Together

Today, March 8, 2025, is International Women’s Day! Coincidentally, the United Nations began celebrating International Women’s Day as part of the International Women’s Year in 1975. That same year the Title IX (June 23,1972) Amendment stipulated full compliance with the law.

Title IX transformed education for women. After centuries of discrimination, the landmark civil rights law leveled the playing field in sports and allowed millions of women to earn degrees.

Speaking at Illinois State's 50th Title IX Celebration with legendary basketball coach Jill Hutchison, Olympian Cathy Boswell and other superstar alumni.

Gradually, Title IX revolutionized women’s lives in the US by opening doors to education and athletics.

Unfortunately here and globally, women are still subject to sex abuse and domestic violence and denied access to health care, education and equal opportunity in the work place.

In our hometowns, we see firsthand Title IX’s impact, as our daughters, granddaughters and great granddaughters enjoy the opportunities that my generation, and women prior to my time, fought so hard to ensure.

The 2025 Sterling High School Golden Warriors basketball team fell a game short a trip down state to Redbird Arena, my alma mater, in their run to repeat the 1977 first Illinois state championship. Their rise to glory was no less phenomenal. In four years they turned a 3-26 losing team into a championship contender.

This year's team with their tough defense and fighting spirit were reminiscent of SHS’s 70s and 80s teams like that 1977 state championship team, which included Coach McKinzie and Coach Smith, a dad/daughter, brother/sister combo, the 2025 team was also a family affair uniting sisters, coaches, dads, daughters and their families.

With perfect timing, Coach Jackson’s team gave the community a reason to cheer at a scary time when many civil rights and federal departments protecting health and education threaten to collapse at an alarming rate.

I am proud of Sterling’s stellar basketball season. Like many Sterlingites who may have moved away, I still bleed blue and gold. Our Sterling High School days remain tattooed in our hearts.

As a pioneer, I lived daily the battle for equality and I have had the privilege of seeing opportunities for women explode. I am also old enough and wise enough to know our rights could disappear.

Today, in the Caitlin Clark and Paige Bueckers era, we celebrate the popularity and media exposure of women’s basketball. We love watching the NCAA’s March Madness, the Unrivaled 3-on-3 inaugural season and the W. We appreciate the opportunities awaiting our daughters, not only in basketball, but in so many other arenas.

But work must continue in the US and around the globe to improve women’s health care, to protect reproductive rights, to guarantee equal pay, to curb the epidemic of violence against females, and to allow the voices of other women to be heard worldwide.
Today women succeed, not only on the playing fields, but in education, business, medicine and other professions where we were never allowed before.

Today we are winning, but the risk of losing all has never been so great.

Today, we must fight to guarantee these rights will remain for future generations.
.
Five decades ago, the UN started the First National Women’s Day. Fifty years ago Title IX was fully enacted.

What can we do today to assure women’s opportunities and their contributions will stand in the next century?

Why We Write

“The natural writer is the one who is always writing; if only in his head-sizing up a situation for material, collecting impressions.”

I seek out people to interview, new places to visit, stories to share, all the while feeling off balance and a bit loco.

“You develop an extra sense that partly excludes you from experience,” says Martin Amis. “Writers are not really experiencing things fully, 100%. They are always holding back and wondering what the significance is.”

“Every person who does serious time with the key board is attempting to translate his version of the world into words so that he might be understood. The great paradox of the writer’s life is how much time he spends alone trying to connect with other people.” (Forest for the Trees by Betsy Lerner p. 36)

That’s me in a nutshell. I struggle to experience everyday life in my various roles while capturing each milestone and new adventures on paper.

Looking back at my career, one reason I loved the game of basketball was because the fast pace and concentration needed to play prevented this dual existence. There was no time be an observer and participant. On the court, I had to be 100% engaged. The game demanded total focus of mind and body.

But off the court, stories pinged off my brain like pinballs.

In the car as a child on cross country vacations, I wrote stories about the plantations down south, the ranches out west and Victorian homes on the East coast. In college, I stretched out in the back of the campus station wagons on basketball road trips, and wrote character sketches of teammates in my mind. As a globetrotting, adult the sights outside the window of my plane, train, bus or car gave me ample material for stories.

As a student, I daydreamed so much, it’s a wonder I ever passed 1st grade.

Even during my teaching career, while standing in the field during PE lessons in Switzerland, my mind wandered to our mountain views where shepherds tended sheep in alpine meadows. Lost in reverie, I forgot to whistle off sides in soccer, out of bounds in field hockey or strikes in softball, until a student complained forcing me back to reality.

To be in the moment is hard for a writer.

I am torn between the different cultural, geographical and the physical worlds of Switzerland, France and the USA, and also from the emotional, imaginary one of living life and recording it simultaneously.

Writing keeps me grounded. I process life through words. During fleeting moments, my purpose becomes crystal clear as I search my path, stumbling over obstacles along the way. In writing, I lose myself. Like playing basketball, I enter “the zone,” without the euphoria.

After writing, I am spent. My fingers cramp. My shoulders ache. My back throbs. I need to stretch my limbs frozen to the chair.

Writing is a constant battle of wills between the creative brain and the logical one. Why spend so much time doing something that brings no financial rewards and few emotional ones?

I swear off practicing my art, stop typing, lock up in writer’s block. Inevitably, I eventually return to the blank page because not writing is even more excruciating.

My shelves are full of memoir, novel and screenplay drafts. Without writing my life seems meaningless. Only in the retelling, can I comprehend the raw experiences of my soul.

Writing unleashes the mystery in our human existence.

But damned if it doesn’t drive me crazy.

Boxes, crammed with thousands of pages of newspaper articles, unfinished manuscripts, half bake books and segments of stories, ferment like a compost pile under my bed.

Why bother?

Language links us. Writer friends, please continue to put your muse to paper; reader friends, thank you a thousand times for keeping connected. Without readers do I exist?

I write, therefore, I am.

My Bucket List for Midwest

I left the Midwest 43 yrs ago, but I didn’t move to the glamorous coasts - Boston, NYC, LA - nooo I flew across the Big Pond, landed in Paris and picked up a Frenchman.

Reading The Midwest Survival Guide: How We Talk, Love, Work, Drink and Eat…Everything With Ranch by Charlie Berens, a comedian and award winning journalist raised in a family of 12 kids in Wisconsin, brought back memories of my childhood. Though I’ve been back to the states many summers, some Midwestern things I have yet to experience.

Here is my bucket list.

Ice fishing - My brother-in-law or nephew-in-law would let me to tag along and hang out in their ice hut, but I could not survive sitting through a snow storm on a frozen lake in a canvas tent without electrically heated long underwear.
Tailgating - It sounds about as much fun as partying in a “boot.” American trunks are bigger European homes, but why sit in a parking lot outside a stadium during miserable weather to grill hotdogs and drink beer if you can’t see the football game? I’d rather pull on my favorite team logo t-shirt, park my butt in a comfy recliner in front of 100 inch, high resolution TV screen and watch the game while my Frenchman serves a 5-course meal with a fine wine.
Go to a State Fair - I could plan a visit to coincide with my summer stateside, but any state fair would set off panic attacks from sensory overload. The thought of noisy crowds, clashing colors, weird odors and tastes of inedible concoctions - chocolate covered bacon, cheese on a stick, or fried snicker bars, Oreos, pickles or deep fried anything - makes me nauseous. Even the classic corn dogs, funnel cakes, cotton candy sound dodgy.
I would love to try Minnesota’s Sweet Martha’s Chocolate Chip Cookies, but why bother when my family has our own “Susie Sugar’s to-die-for-chocolate-chip treats”. Beloved Aunt Sue makes batches by the pound full and keeps them “hidden” in freezers. Her nieces and nephews grew up believing Midwestern ice boxes were magic because every time they opened the door, cookies tumbled out.
I love American sports, but some games don’t appeal to me whatsoever such as corn bags, beer pong, or what Charlie Berens calls, testicle toss (ladder toss). Then again I have never taken an interest in the favorite French past time - giant marbles for adults - better known as boules.
A traditional backyard bonfire sounds cool, but only "sans moustiques"!
Seeing a Greenbay Packer’s football game at Lambeau Field tops my wish list. For better or worse, love ‘em or hate ‘em - no matter what you think of this year’s squad - no arena in the world can compare to the ambiance at Lambeau.

The Greenbay Packers, America’s third oldest franchise, founded in 1919 have won the most NFL championships, remain the last “small town team” and are the only team in the league owned by the fans. Imagine the thrill of sitting on that sacred frozen tundra with thousands of cheese-headed spectators screaming and catching players doing the Lambeau leap.

What is on your bucket list? With the dollar high as it is these days, never has the time been better to enjoy your dream travel to Europe. So come on over, but don’t put us only your stop over list yet. Our house building project has been put on hold again due to “snow season.” Duh, of course, it snows in the Swiss Mountains in winter.

What Can Go Wrong? Dream House Never Gets Built

So many people, who know of our dream to build a house in the Jura Mountains of Switzerland, keep asking, “How is the new house coming along?”

It’s not.

What could go wrong? A home that builders promised to finish last April that I called, “our plot” remains like it sounds - a hole in the ground (well in our case a chunk carved out of a mountainside).

The building area resembles a construction site with rocks, dirt, foundation, a crane, but no roof, no walls, no windows. The plans sold to us showed a beautiful complex of three triplex homes housing 9 different families.

Each of the 9 owners-to-be has been promised a June 2022 delivery at the very latest.We now have been given 3 floating dates depending on the buildings. The only positive outcome of this mess is that we have gotten to know our future neighbors. Over irate, disgruntled coffee klatches, we rant about the lies we’ve been told and the alarming lack of progress.

No one in their wildest dreams could fathom this kind of screw up in a country as well organized and efficient at Switzerland where hardly a train runs late.
Part of it may be due the international nature of living here.

To fill you in on the background, the property, owned by a Scotsman who lives in the chalet above the land, bought it for peanuts 40 years ago and sold it for a fortune. At first, he put a credible Swiss architect firm in charge with whom buyers signed contracts.

For unknown reasons, the Scotsman took the Swiss company off the project and put a small construction company in charge where everyone speaks Serbo-Croatian.

“You’re in trouble!” my Serbian friend laughed and explained, “They work on Serbian time, everything will always be late.”

The Scotsman signed a different deal with the original Swiss architect company to oversee the end result, but no longer have any role in the day to day operation. Consequently, the small builder oversees his own progress.

Yet the Swiss company, who retains a 15% cut on all additional costs, legally must assure that the project is completed. With 3 different entities involved in the deal, responsibility has been passed hand to hand like a hot potato. No one communicates to the buyers what is really going on.

The results: one building has siding and a roof, but no interior finishing, another building has a foundation, ground floor walls, and a third of the siding on the second floor, and our building remains a cement foundation.

We were supposed to be the first structure built until engineers decided that our home, on a level above the other two, must be constructed last to keep the mountain from collapsing on the other two.

See why we are worried?

By renting our rustic chalet in the same village, we can easily check on progress or lack there of. At the end of September, in a meeting with all 3 parties, they promised my husband that our home would be ready by the end of April 2023. Our neighbors, in building two, were told they would be in theirs by Christmas 2022, but winter is coming and when the first snow falls all work stops.

When we walked by the premises recently, we were alarmed to see partially finished buildings, an idle crane, but no workers or building supplies on site. We surmised that the builders ran into major delays in attaining the prefab wood siding panels ordered from a company in Slovenia.

How insane is this scenario?

A friendly Scotsman sells a piece of land to a reputable Swiss architect company with whom we signed contracts. Then the switcheroo - a Serbian building company, owned by a British firm in London, takes charge of construction with materials ordered from Slovenia. Global efficiency ?

As the clock ticks, the tab grows greater with owners paying more on all interior fixtures due to price increase. Owners are also paying rising interest rates on Swiss bank home loans. We paid extra American (as well as Swiss) taxes on our “virtual” home. We also pay a rent and storage fees for a full year longer than budgeted.

Right now, no ones lives in their “dream house” except a local gang of druggies, who discovered that the site is a great place to hang out and get high.

Stay tuned! Oh the joys of the ex-pat life.

Happy 90th Birthday to my Pioneer Dad

If I pursued a career unheard of for women, moved abroad and rewrote my script after my dream collapsed in an accident, it is because of you, my pioneer dad, who believed in me every step of the way.

I inherited the McKinzie iron will, a drive to pursue lofty ideals in spite of obstacles.

In the controversial years of Title IX’s infancy, when girls and ball games were non compatible entities, your adamant belief in women’s right to participate in sports would empower all your daughters. Especially me.

Fifty years ago, dads teaching daughters jump shots were anomalies. Fathers discouraged daughters from playing ball games society deemed unladylike.

Yet, you fought for equal rights and shaped values in the athletes you mentored during your 33-year career at Sterling High School where you earned the affectionate title of Papa Mac while racking up Illinois’ 1st ever girls state basketball championship title, a 3rd place finish and an Elite Eight appearance. But what made you proudest was seeing how your athletic “daughters” grew up to contribute to society as principals, teachers and leading members of their communities.

No one felt your influence more greatly than me. When my slender frame took a beating on basketball courts at ever elite levels, you never said, “You’re too small to go pro.” Instead you helped develop my potential. When my American pro team folded, I stated, “I’m going to France to play.”

“What if you get hurt?” You tried your darnest to dissuade me. Then after the shock subsided, you offered your support and returned to the gym to rebound.

When I announced, “I’m engaged to a Frenchman,” you were the first to accept a foreigner into the family and remained my most faithful correspondent, sending manila envelopes to Europe. Rather than disowning me, you sacrificed time and money to make 18 trips across the Atlantic to be part of your gandchildren’s lives.

Though you never visited Scotland, the home of your fore-bearers, it is as if clan bloodlines transcended generations. Like your father and forefathers, you became a leader of men and women. You taught us a code of honor, respect for our fellowman, and fierce loyalty toward family.

Our resilient constitution, strength of character, love of nature, and reverence for honest work may have been virtues passed on from our ancestry, but we developed them by modeling your behavior in a life where you treated everyone equal.

As the head of our McKinzie clan, you set the finest example of what it means to be an honorable leader, a strong chief, and a benevolent father.

I grew up during an era when athletic girls felt shunned without role models. You encouraged me to be myself even when it meant being different and pursuing a career usually sought by men.

It was not easy being a modern day daughter, marrying a Frenchman and raising children abroad. Nor was it easy to be an up-to-date dad, whose dedicated coaching developed the talent that took his daughter away.

I was a selfish, smart-aleck kid; you were too overprotective. You grew up under the “work ethic” when it was a man’s world, only, yet you learned to accept a modern, do-it-herself daughter who lived by the “experience ethic.”

You leaned right; I left. Too much alike in temperament and too different in ideologies to always get along, yet our differences, spurred growth. I loved you enough to let you be a blundering father. You let me be a belligerent daughter. Through headstrong outbursts, we learned to compromise, to live modern dreams without losing old-fashioned values.

You were not a perfect dad, nor I, a perfect daughter. But our love was.

You taught me to shoot a jump shot, swim a lake, drive a car, balance a checkbook, but the greatest lesson I learned from you was “never give up!”

Thirty-five years ago, that fighting spirit helped me recover from a career ending, near fatal car accident 4,000 miles away from home. More recently that same resiliency helped me survive a life altering fall that resulted in a broken cheek bone, eye socket, jaw, nose and skull that led to a 5 hour brain surgery and over a year of rehabilitation. With no end in sight.

I may never play my guitar, type a blog post or swim again pain free.

Everyday as I struggled in physical therapy to squeeze my hand, raise my left arm, and walk without stumbling I think of you and repeat the mantra you ingrained through hours of practice spent correcting my jump shot, “Keep fighting!”

Every night when I called you reminded me,“I am proud of you sweetie.”

And you ended every conversation with these words,

“I think of you everyday and love you more each minute.”

Me too, dad, me too.

Happy Birthday to my 90 year old hero!