One and Only New Year’s Resolution

  1. Get organized.

I made only one vow this New Year. That way I figure I would succeed. I started early before the holidays. But it is not going to be easy. My sister, Sue, was born with all the organizing genes in the family, so I got short changed in the tidy up department.

Never mind. I do try. Like the experts suggest, change doesn’t happen overnight. Start simple.  Clean one drawer.

I start with the kitchen drawer. What really precipitated the resolution was my husband coming home  from work yelling when he sets off the burglar alarm, « Where did you put the alarm deactivator. »

A decade ago, after being burglarized twice, we bought a sensorized sound system. We once had four alarm deactivator buttons the size of erasers ; we now have one. Every time the alarm goes off, DAILY, we conduct a « scream and search. »

My husband says he changed the battery months ago and swears he put it in the kitchen drawer. Thus my quest for self actualization through organization begins there. Most people store eating utensils in kitchen drawers.  Not me. I find  twenty pens, ten pencils, five highlighters, three board markers, two whistles and one sticky piece of bubble gum. See my priorities. In addition to writing tools, I discover pocket notebooks, Post-Its, a card from my daughter written in 1990, and a party list for my son’s fifth birthday. But that’s not all. I also uncover a Swiss army knife, a bottle opener, a pack of Kleenex, a glue stick, a scissors, a piece of chocolate, band-aides, pain killer, anti acids, matches, a mini flashlight, my cell phone, gym keys and cash in five different currencies.

No need for me to pack a safety kit to store in the car for inclement winter weather, I’ll just carry my kitchen drawer along every time I go out the door.

When my husband comes home from work, he doesn’t say, « Honey, I’m home how was your day ? »

No. When the siren starts screeching, It’s the usual, « Pot ! (Pat in French) WTF did you put the alarm? »

The trouble is that as all women know, one magic drawer exists in every household. Whatever you put in it, disappears. My new year’s resolution is doomed to fail. How can I get organized, whenever I am not looking, the drawer fairy strikes again. Somewhere in the house, my little leprechaun has a stash of treasures.

Yet get this, FYI, the Frenchman found the alarm in his camera bag where he left it after our last trip to the states, so much for tidy kitchen drawers and New Year’s Resolutions!

Posted in humor.

27 Comments

  1. I know I’m a heretic but I’m very organized. Probably because my brain is un-organizable. If I don’t have lists, I fall apart, remembering nothing! My drawers aren’t neat but they hold what they’re supposed to. Outward order to hide my inward clutter. Happy New Year!

  2. Please put my daughter on your Blog list. Her name is Sandy and she plays organ and piano at Broadway Methodist Church. She and I are friends with your folks. Her email address is:
    Sandys@essex1.com. I know she will enjoy your blogs as much as I do. Jim

  3. Oh yes, I know this drawer well. Here is a list of items that disappear when they go in this drawer….scotch tape, scissors, combs, and guitar picks. Over the years my husband has whined so much about this that I gave him his own drawer and stuffed it with all of the above. The kids and I never touch the drawer (except when really desperate). Now I only have to replenish this stuff every five years or so. Except for the combs. He doesn’t have enough hair for a comb anymore. Good luck with the alarm. Maybe you could attach it to your husband’s keys.

    • Great idea…give the Frenchman his own drawer that no one else touches. That way I can’t be blamed! Happy New Year and all best for 2012¨

  4. sista,
    hahahahahaha still laughing out loud on this one! oh boy can we relate…in fact I thought you were describing our kitchen drawer. Did you take it back across the ocean with you? Definitely NOT fair that Sister Sue got all the organizing genes and worse yet, she lives no where near us to help us get organized for the wkend! Good Luck with this N.Y. Resolution. I was thinking more along the lines of improving my technical knowledge (only 1 way to go here so high success rate)!
    love you mucho sister and keep on writing! 🙂

  5. Laughed my way through this. Sooo glad the alarm thingy was in your husband’s camera bag. Hahaha. My whole house is your drawer. I used to be consoled at work by a cartoon showing a desk with clean top with a caption something to the effect of “empty desktop, empty mind.” My mind is a junk drawer, too. No wonder it’s so hard to retrieve a memory.

    • Loved the image of “my mind is a junk drawer, too.” Do you think the chaos goes along with the creativity gene? Thanks for stopping by. Happy New Year!

  6. Pat, this a is a GREAT column for starting off the new year. I laughed and laughed. I think nearly everyone can relate to what our family deems the “messy” or “junk” drawer. When in doubt throw it in there. When in doubt look for missing item there. We also tend to blame “the little man” who comes silently in the night to make messes or misplace things. Always good to have a scape goat, at least when there is no Frenchman to blame!

  7. What a funny blog about a universal theme, but I have to confess…even I have a messy junk drawer in the kitchen. Sis, you are spending your time doing more important things than organizing drawers…you are spreading cheer ….and touching hearts…..with your writing. Keep up the great work! I look forward to reading more wonderful pieces in 2012.

  8. Too,too funny Pat and I can easily relate to that catch-all kitchen drawer that has everything but nothing of what I need when I’m rifling through it! I used to be so organized, like Lynne but that gene must have gone to sleep in the past few years. Here’s to finding some semblance of order this year. Happy New Year!

  9. Trop drole. je rigolais tellement que ma chipie ralait de ne pas comprendre l’anglais!!! Ceci dit, j’avoue que j’ai aussi un tiroir…..pas très organisé dans lequel on trouve des clés, de la patafix, des fèves sorties des galettes, un mètre, du gros scotch marron, des bougies d’anniversaire, une nintendo DS quelque fois, et tout ce que je peux ramasser et que je ne sais pas ranger ailleurs! Et pour moi, pas de bonne résolution: j’ai essayé mais sans succès, le bazar revient toujours ( tout seul) et bien entendu, ce que je cherche n’y est jamais!!

  10. Hahahaha, that’s hilarious!
    ‘…and cash in five different currencies.’ That must have been there for at least ten years then, if they are European currencies.

  11. I enjoyed reading this. Somehow organization missed my goal sheet this year. I’m going to figure out how to get it on there.

  12. Ah yes! Sue IS one of the most organized people I know! I NEED her for that! 🙂 Loved the blog…what if I have all KINDS of such “drawers” (shelves, boxes, etc) LOL Keep the pen filled with ink, Pat. You write wonderfully interesting pieces!

    • Don’t feel bad Sheila. My whole house is storage space for decades of junk. That’s why we are both so lucky to have an organized Susie in our lives. Thanks for following and your encouragement!

  13. You certainly struck a nerve here, Pat. I never heard a “junk drawer” called a “magic drawer” but if only it were. Ours has always been the place for batteries, key chains, match folders, magnets, odd keys, and other debris that could be useful in some future on another planet. Unfortunately, the junk drawer has a magic power over my desk drawers, file cabinets,m closets, bookshelves, and other places requiring or–or–organizing (that difficult word), and can transform a box of jewelry into chaos in no time at all. I blame it all on genes. My mother’s linen drawers looked as though someone had stirred them with a stick. How can we escape heredity? My brother got all my dad’s organization skills, and I am doomed to hunting madly for the right battery, the right paper, and the odd sock.

    • Love the image…”of linen drawers that looked as though someone has stirred them with a stick.” I think some little fairy has stirred my entire house with a stick!
      I always wondered if our love of words, you know the artsy side of our brain, has prevented the other side from developing normally. Funny thing is that I prefer to have a tidy desktops and drawers, but they just never stay that way!

  14. Ha! I told my husband I am going to pay whatever necessary to get this house organized – tubs, bins, file folders. Since we keep moving, nothing gets too out of control since we seem to purge regularly. But I do like the idea of a tidy house – a place for every thing, for every thing a place 🙂

    Thank you for linking to Post Of The Month Club! It is great to have you there 🙂

    • Thanks for stopping by. I am enjoying your photography and following Happy Homemaker UK. It also helps me better understand my British colleagues at the international school where I work. Look forward to the next Post of the Month!

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