Playing the On Line Dating Game By Accident

stock-vector-vector-cartoon-of-swiss-man-walking-st-bernard-rescue-dog-in-mountains-230097001What have I done this time? With my technological ineptitude, I signed up for this crazy kind of online dating game, not once, not twice, but a half a dozen times.

Now Fritz, Gunther and Ueli want to meet me.

Geez, what will I do if one of these Swiss mountain men show up ringing my doorbell?

How do I get myself into these things?

The first time it happened and I starting receiving messages from handsome strangers, I pleaded to the techie sidekick I married to come to my rescue. “Help! Get me out of this!”

And he roared. “You got yourself into it, you get yourself out of it!”

So I appealed to my daughter, who laughed even louder. But she took pity on me and disabled the link to OKCupid with a word of warning, “Mom, quit clicking on every pop up that appears on your page!”

Now I have done it again! I am in even deeper doo doo.

When something pops up on my screen and I want to make it disappear, abracadabra, I click, click, click like a nervous tick. Before I know it I have subscribed to dozens of sites from around the globe. Now Jean-Marc, Paul-Henri, and Pierre-Andre are sending a big bonjour from villages across France. Jurgen, Helmet, and Ludwig are grüssen me from die Strasse of Germany. Juan, Santiago and Diego are shouting hola from the tabernas of german_previewSpain.

With organizations catering for every age and interest group in every language, the variety of combinations is endless. Check it out: Edarling. Meetic, Amoureux, France, Elite Partner, Friendscout.24, Parship, DatingCafe, Finya, OK Cupid, Plenty of Fish, Baboo….

Heck, I was never adept at real dating back in the day; I would be clueless navigating the cyber dating scene in 2015. Can you believe this? Sites members can upload photos and videos of themselves as well as browse the photos and videos of others. Sites also offer additional services, such as webcasts, online chat, telephone chat (VOIP), and message boards. Get out. Next step… virtual marriage.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not knocking Internet relationships. I know an intelligent, lovely, young lady who met her future husband on-line and if that wasn’t a match made in heaven, they even had the same surname. When they wed years later, she didn’t have to change her name.

But holy cow, I am no spring chicken, I can barely keep up with this one Frenchmen, Lord knows I don’t need a houseful of yodelers.

Any advice out there from you techni- sauvé gurus in the cyberworld?

Eek! Eek! How do I disengage from the on line dating game merry go round?

imagesHey, BTW while I am busy untangling this virtual mating snafu, any avid storytellers out there may want to pop over to my friend Kathy Pooler’s Memoir Writing Journey blog on Monday and see my guest post, “All I Needed to Know about Writing I Learned Playing Ball.

See you next week unless Wilhelm drags me off to his cave.

Posted in humor, relationships, social view.

25 Comments

  1. Oh, how funny, Pat! I call it trigger-finger: that tendency to tap the keyboard before the brain is funny engaged. When I teach seniors how to use a computer, it’s quite common, almost as if, having come to the digital party late, they’re impatient to catch up. PS I am sick of Google+ and the number of men who try to friend me. Big tipoff: a brief (incomplete) profile and only women as friends. Recently, one @$$h0/# send me a photo of his goods. Like I’ll be totally unable to resist THAT. Gross.

    • Oh yuck! Unbelievable. Gosh I wish I lived closer so you could give me a few computer lessons. My trigger-finger gets me in trouble every time. I am also known to delete entire essays with a click of that darn finger.

      • Pat, you know about “Control + Z”, right? Whenever you delete or do something you didn’t want to, if you CTRL + Z right after that, it’s all restored.

        • Oh yeah, now it is coming back to me. Thanks for the gentle reminder. I know I have heard that before from my techie side kick; however, it doesn’t sound so clear when that special someone is shouting instructions in French. ha

  2. LOL! LOL!!! and LOL!!!! Although I haven’t done that, I accidentally “friended” people I didn’t know on Facebook and they confirmed. I then told them they could de-friend me because it was an accident…anyway I’m a lot more careful now.

    • Oh Barb, that also sound so familiar. But I am getting to the point where I can’t remember if I should know them or not, which makes this friending on line very precarious.

    • Clara, it is really getting out of hand, I sign on so often, my hubby is convinced that I do it on purpose, but I don’t have a clue about how I keep repeating the same mistake.

  3. Too funny. I believe you aren’t trolling but you got to stop, you are creating a pattern! I hear Wilhelm and Jean-Marc are carpooling to your home, lock the doors!

  4. What fun! Appreciating the light and funny touch this week! (And by the way, no one has to change her name, whether or not she and the fiancé have the same last names. Just getting a plug in! 🙂 )

    • You are absolutely right, Carol. And an appropriate reminder for women’s rights on this especially today March 8 International Women’s Day: Empowering Women – Empowering Humanity.

  5. Loved this Pat… And I know several people who are happily ensconced in internet dating relationships… so for some it works, for some it is an embarrassingly awful process, and for others it amuses… I must admit I do like the sound of Wilhelm though – do you have his number? 😉 LOL.

    • Yes, Rach. I know many happily ever after couples who met online, so it does work for some. When Wilhelm shows up at my door, I’ll give him a one ticket to Australia, so you can check him out.

  6. Pat, I’m typing this through tears of hilarity! Thank you for a day-brightener, my friend. I work in the tech field, as you know, but I’m stumped at getting you out of this predicament. Perhaps your daughter has the best idea, to think before you click??! In the meantime, isn’t it a bit sad that there are so many lonely people in our world who feel they have to hook up with virtual strangers to have a meaningful relationship?! Glad your Frenchman is laughing over this one — he sounds like a gem!

    • Oh Debbie, I sure wish you gave on line crash courses for idiots…but where to begin with me. When the Frenchman isn’t laughing, he is screaming at me for asking another dumb computer related question. Oh I am hopeless, I still still struggle changing channels with the TV remote control.

  7. Pat, I think it is great that your Hubby encourages you to reach out to others – tell him to chat with my Bride so I dont get into so much trouble!! ha Maybe the Chateau on Summit Lake will be crowded this summer.

  8. Having tried online dating a time or two, let me inform you that it’s even WORSE if you are truly LOOKING for the right person!! LOL Good luck unsubscribing! 😉

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